Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Sadness and Confessions

Sadness =

My mother in law passed away last week.

It's a really long story - but the bottom line is she didn't have a healthy heart, was in surgery to make it better, and she didn't make it.

She was 60.

My husband is very sad and working hard to move on.  But it's hard.

Confession =

I haven't run since the mini.  I'm scheduled to a race on June 5 and want to do a tri in August.  I have zero motivation and have to find it somewhere.  I'm just feeling quiet and tired.  At the end of the day, the last thing I want to do is workout.

For the first time in a long time, I'm feeling bad about myself and sorry for myself and desperate to lose weight.  I've been feeling proud and happy.  Ugh.

The good news is, I haven't been eating out of control - as would be a typical reaction for me.  The thing is, I know now, more than ever, the need to be healthy and live life to the fullest.

So I'm working on it.  But man, right now is a really hard time.


  1. I am so sorry to hear this. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

    I know this probably isn't what you want but seriously, working out can sometimes really relieve those feelings with the release of endorphins.

    You're doing good though with your eating and that's definitely something to be proud of. Trust me, you've got nothing to ashamed of in grieving and you are definitely beautiful.

  2. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. What a sad time for your husband. My mom is turning 60 in December (she was a teenage mom...we're close in age). I can't even imagine....

    Motivation is a funny thing - can be so elusive, seemingly impossible to capture sometimes. I think when we can wrap our heads around THAT fact, we can begin to move forward. One of my favorite (and needed) phrases: "This too shall pass."

    Sending you hugs and motivational thoughts from Orlando. If you get a chance, check out my newest venture, something that hopefully will help a teeny bit(?)... ownyourjourney.com.

    Take care,