Friday, April 2, 2010

So much on my mind

I haven't posted in forever. Not because of anything (like I'm hiding because I'm doing something wrong), but because when I have a spare minute. I just stop and pause.

I'm going to post more next week on what's going on in my life, but I had to post a quickie today because of Mizfit's post today. She writes about fitting in. This is interesting because really, why do I want to keep a blog? I spend a lot of time thinking, who cares? There are half a million blogs out there - I read so many of them - and I'm not sure what I write would make that big of a difference to anyone. Other times I think what difference does it make? It's a place for me to keep track of my thoughts. Then I think, I could just do that on my own in an electronic journal. Then I think, but what if one, just one person is inspired by me? That would be the best feeling in the world! And then I wonder, am I just trying to fit in? Like what Mizfit wrote about today? In 35 years, am I STILL trying to figure out what my niche is?

The answer to that is yes. Yes, yes, yes.

I digress.

Wednesday is my 35th birthday. I've been on vacation in Florida this week (I'm so freaking lucky!) and I've done a few runs/walks where I thought about this a lot. Asking myself the same questions: Why am I running, what's my real purpose, etc....I've been thinking about my food choices a lot, and then thinking about why I'm thinking about my food choices....

For once, I'd like to just not think.

Today, when I read this quote from Mizfit:

Life isnt about fitting in. It’s about carving your unique path & creating an existence which allows you to be your best self.

I realized that this is me. This has been me for years and years and years. I'm slowly starting to get it. I had a moment this week when I thought, damn, I wish I would have gone through this process when I was was 25 - or even 15, but that's wishful thinking and honestly? 25 and 15 were pretty awesome!

Anyway, more next week. In fact, I have lots I want to write about and reflect about and for the 2 or 3 people that are reading, I'm going to write it here: Two topics that are deeply on my mind are - how we respond to ourselves in pictures and how we talk about ourselves in front of our children. Being on vacation - and in a swimsuit - this is something that has been on my mind a lot!

In the meantime, here's another thought for you:

and this - my family on campus:

and this from the Bulldog Jog that I did on March 12 (and set my PR in a 5K - 36:00 and some change!)

We are SO PROUD of our BUTLER BULLDOGS! My husband and I are both graduates, we now live a mile and a half from campus, and this fall, Ryan (the husband) will be a professor of education there. There is nothing more exciting than our little school being in the final four this weekend! I can't believe we are missing the festivities in Indy this weekend, but I'm not going to complain!


  1. We aren't in Indy this weekend either and we are BUMMED!!! We will always cheer for the home team so we are THRILLED we have a home team in the Final Four! :)

    You have a daughter so I imagine that the way you talk about yourself in front of your children really pulls on YOUR heart strings. With my boys, I really try not to say 'fat' or anything like that. I try not to tell them that we are on a diet (or whatever you want to call it). I know exactly what you mean's SO HARD!! I can't wait to hear what you have to say about it. Hope you enjoyed your week in Florida!

  2. i was really pulling for Butler! But at least they made it close!

    your family is so beautiful!